Misc Jokes

Just explain rqandom jokes here, i have a couple ok ones:

What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?



Damn!!


Why did the seagal refuse to cross the bay?


He didn't want to be mistaken for a bagel.


A guy goes out to a buddy's cabin one day for a couple nights. When he arrives, he see's his 3 buddy's in front of the cabin. One of his friends tells him that if you stick your dick in a whole of a barrel that was just inside of the cabin, you'll have the best time you've ever had. So the guy does his thing with the barrel and has the best time of his life. The guy comes out and shouts "Wow!! That was amazing!! When can i do it tomorrow?" One of the friend replies " What do you mean tomorrow, it's your turn to get in the barrel."


I'll think of more, just some variety there, anyone else have some?

"
A guy goes out to a buddy's cabin one day for a couple nights. When
he arrives, he see's his 3 buddy's in front of the cabin. One of his
friends tells him that if you stick your dick in a whole of a barrel
that was just inside of the cabin, you'll have the best time you've
ever had. So the guy does his thing with the barrel and has the best
time of his life. The guy comes out and shouts "Wow!! That was
amazing!! When can i do it tomorrow?" One of the friend replies " What
do you mean tomorrow, it's your turn to get in the barrel.""
Very funny.

Lemme think..

You could've said "Number 3 was funny".

But no...

So what if I didn't want to ?
I just made it easier for other people to read my post, and not look back to "Number 3".

That was the joke, because I knew you'd take it seriously.

well, I posted this joke earlier but it looksl ike it didn't take, so here goes again... I have more, but I'll keep it with just 1 this time around...

A 3rd grade teacher is having a vocabular lecture in which she gives her students a word and they have to use it in a sentence. The first student she calls is Abby, a little white girl. Abby stands up.
Teacher: "Abby, your word is pressure."
Abby: "The table broke because there was too much pressure on it."
The teacher says "good job" and Abby sits down. The next student that the teacher calls is Kevin, a little white boy. He stands up.
Teacher: "Kevin, your word is pronounce."
Kevin: "When I was young, I could not pronounce certain words."
The teacher says "good job" and Kevin sits down. The next student the teacher calls is leon, a little black boy. Leon stands up.
Teacher: "Leon, your word is dictate."
Leon: "Hey Yolanda, how's my dictate?"

rofl radar never heard that one before XD

Rofl. Nice job Jyo and Radar. xD

A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into the bar. The bartender comments

"Hey, nice thing you got there."

"Yeah, I found it while visiting Africa." replies the parrot XD.

Here is another one:

A russian chief was sent to africa to control a group working on a bridge. He called 5 africas to his side and said:

"Ok, I want you to fetch me some water, you to get some supplies, you to go get me a magezine from my desk, you to get some food, and you to continue working."

So everyone does what they need to do. But the chief notices something is missing and asks, "Where is the 5th man."

Well, a couple hours go by, and there is no sign of the man, when suddenly, while everyone is eating and drinking, the 5th man jumps from behind a rock and yells...

"Supplies!!!"

Note: Hard to tell this joke on the internet, the 5th man thought the chief said surprise.

Hahaha.
I like those.

Lmao. I've heard the supplies one. It is hard to understand that joke over the internet, but in real life it turns out better if the 5th worker is asian. (The accent sells the joke...)

Laughed out loud on the parrot one. xD

Lol, i like the parrot one too.

Nice one jyo, he called 5 africas lol.
Parrot one cracked me up

One Day, a Man want to Be a Monk, and when He registered The Monks Club, all were Ladys, and the Mayor Monk, Just question his Names...

First One said: Im Sor Irene.
Other:Im sor Isabel.
And Keep Going like that.

When the Leader got to the Man Monk, the Leader Monk question, what is Your Name?
The Monk Man just Invented a Random Name...
Then The Monk Man Answer:

I am.... Sor.....PRISE!

Lol Jyo the parrot one was funny


The top two lies told by cowboys:

1. I won this belt buckle at a rodeo.
2. I was just helping that sheep over the fence

Ew Winkey

That's nasty, hahah xD

The horse race.

Horses in the race are:

1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Thighs
8. Big Johnson
9. Heavy Bosum
10. Merry Cherry

At the Post:

They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosum is being pressured.
Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson
in a very tight spot.
At the Halfway Mark it's Bare Belly on top.
Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in.
Heavy Bosum is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At The Stretch Merry Cherry cracks under the strain.
Big Johnson is making a final drive.
Passionate Lady is coming.
At The Finish It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and
Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer.
It looks like a dead heat but Big Johnson squirts through and
wins by a head.
Heavy Bosum weakens and Thighs pulls-up.
Clean Sheets never had a chance.

oh mai



Last time I saw your face I fed it a banana

bloonerators wrote:The horse race.

Horses in the race are:

1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Thighs
8. Big Johnson
9. Heavy Bosum
10. Merry Cherry

At the Post:

They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosum is being pressured.
Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson
in a very tight spot.
At the Halfway Mark it's Bare Belly on top.
Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in.
Heavy Bosum is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At The Stretch Merry Cherry cracks under the strain.
Big Johnson is making a final drive.
Passionate Lady is coming.
At The Finish It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and
Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer.
It looks like a dead heat but Big Johnson squirts through and
wins by a head.
Heavy Bosum weakens and Thighs pulls-up.
Clean Sheets never had a chance.

rofl

Q:What did the baby digital watch say to the mommy analog watch?

A: "Look Ma, no hands!"

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness', but it doesn't work.

What do lesbions and birdwatchers have in common?
They both look for tits. =P
Crap I know.

or boobies

they're also birdies

Theres this kid named john, he wanted a glass of water. he yelled to hid dad:"Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!" he said no. a few minutes later he asked again. "dad can i have a glass of water!" the dad said"No! If you ask me one more time ill go to your room and spank you. So then he said:"Dad, when you come and spank me on the way there can you get me a glass of water?"